How I Stopped Crying. 

I am a woman, fierce and strong, with an opinion about everything. 

I have a silly sense of humor, and laugh 99% of the time, of every single day. In short, I’m just a happy spirit. 

But let’s get to those moments where I can’t laugh. Those moments when all I can do is ball my eyes out and let my soul pour out. 

Through my journey of life, I’ve reached some patches where I hit what felt like rock bottom. Those raw times when you want to curl up into a ball and disappear. 

In one of those moments a few years ago, I decided I needed to evaluate my situation. 

Is this a pattern? Yes it was, however, not an often occurrence. What did I do when I was in this place? I sought refuge in who ever was closest to me. I ran to someone, believing a person could help me get over what ever difficulty I was facing. 

At the time I felt weak. I saw this deep longing to take back control and have power over myself. That was the very first step. The realization that I needed help, but, not from anyone else. I needed to help myself. 

Today I look back at that moment and feel like giving myself a big fat hug. By taking that very first step, and being honestly blunt with myself, I was able to regain control. 

Whenever I faced hardship from then on, I dealt with it from within first. My first point of relief was no longer another person. No knight in shinning armour. No best friends shoulder. No family member.

Just me. 

I challenge you to try this. When you are in a dark place, and you find yourself unable to stop the tears, cry. Let it out, but when you’re done, tell yourself that it is over. Don’t allow anything or anyone to re-open that wound again. 

Mind over Emotions. 

Ask yourself questions. Search your own heart for a solution. Take refuge in your Maker. Don’t make your problems everyone else’s problems. Do not run to another person – You really don’t need validation from another human being. And no one needs to know your business. 

People who truly care about you will hold you accountable to whatever it is they deem fit, but other than that, keep dependency on others limited. 

If you run to others when you are weak, you might get some great advice. You might get some poor advice. But at the end of the day, whatever choice you make based on someone else’s opinion, only you will have to live with. 

Wipe away those tears, and get over it. 

Put on your big kid pants.  

Believe in yourself. 

Trust yourself.

Take control. 

Stop crying. 

In short, get your ish together. 

Even if the impact of this post was tiny, I hope it helps you in some way ❤️

With Love 

Ruth xx

Filter VS Reality

Your Filter VS My Reality

Technology and Social Media have changed the world as we know it. Gone are the days of having lunch with your friends, where no pictures are involved. No longer can we leave the house without our phones, and we now invest more money in devices to extend our battery life.

I check my Twitter 5 times a day, Facebook at least 15 times a day. Instagram a ton more haha

 

We are a connected generation. The world is no longer a distant place, and making friends with people across the planet is not unheard of. Just think about it, I’m pretty sure you connect with a number of people on Social Media, who do not even live in the same country as you. Some you may have not even met face to face.

With all this access to personal and not so personal aspects of our lives being shared online, a few challenges arise.

For me the biggest would be the Emotional and Mental damage I see. Caused by Discontentment and Envy. Leaving the masses broken with no self-confidence. This sounds crazy, now that I’ve actually typed out these words. But let’s unpack a few points as to why this statement is 100 % truth.

Even though we have so much, we want so much more. It’s human nature. The fine line between being success driven, and greed driven. Now my biggest problem starts with this: People are comparing their Reality, with other peoples Filtered lives. It might be a conscious thing, it might be sub-conscious. But at the end of the day it is happening.

Think about it like this. That selfie that you just posted, it looks fabulous. You look reg. You got 50 likes in 3 minutes blah blah blah. You have make up on. You added some filters. Messed around with the contrast, light, shadows, brightness, saturation, warmth, fade (sjoe, its a lot hey! Hahaha). You get the picture!

 

Now Jane Doe sees your picture on her newsfeed. She’s chilling on her couch in her pj’s. Has no make-up on. Her hair is tied up in a bun. She just had a Big Mac for dinner. She’s either going to like your picture because she likes you, and is happy that you’re looking and feeling great. Or she is going to scroll past you, because you’ve just made her feel inferior. Made her envious of your hair and your fancy salad (we read the hashtags! lol). She doesnt think about the way you filtered that picture. Or how you staged it, to make it appear more than what it actually is.

So we find our first type of discontentment as Material and Financial.

It doesn’t just stop there though. One of the other huge role players I see is Relational Discontentment. We see all of these fabulous couples sucking face all over facebook. And you are either forever alone, or in a shitty relationship. Unsatisfied now with your partner, and comparing your reality, to the filter that people chose to let you see.

Lastly I would say Circumstantial Discontentment would be the final player. You see someone else’s life, and you wish that you were at that point in your life as well. You feel as though you are not where you would want to be as yet. Looking at the now, and not acknowledging the journey. We completely disregard the sacrifice and challenges that people had to endure to get where they are.

So this all seems gloomy and probably made you feel guilty of some of these things, at some point in your life. Relax! I’m not going to Roast you 😛 haha

How can this change?

By being content with who we are, with what we have, and with where we are. I have found that the secret to contentment is not found in what I have and what I own, but rather is found in where my Identity is rooted.

Get to know yourself. Start being thankful for every blessing. No matter how small. Until we get this heart of gratitude, we will never be satisfied. Always coveting, and searching for more.

Let us begin to celebrate the success of others. Once you start being genuinely happy for other peoples success, it will purify your motives.

When we cant celebrate what God is doing for others, we limit what God is doing for us.

I once read somewhere that ‘Envy is resenting God’s goodness in other people’s lives, and ignoring Gods goodness in our own lives’.

Be confident in who you are, and the world will literally be YOURS.

Dala what you must – Do what you must.

Ruth xx

#TheEarthlingChallengeContinues

An Open Letter to Zarah Perry

To the Blogger who Broke our (actually, her own), Internet.

So you have no idea who I am… but please allow me, as one of the countless people who unfollowed you on Every. Single. Platform… to share something with you.

Oh, fun fact for the day – I am a Born Again CHRISTIAN.

Anyhoo, lets get started shall we 🙂

I’ve been following you, and reading your blog for quite some time now. I’m not going to bash every single one of your posts, just because this one was HORRIFIC. But, lets talk about that HORRIFIC one for a minute.

So I saw the link to your ‘Hunger Games’ post on Facebook. A friend of mine had posted it, with the caption ‘speechless! Sit on your salaah mat and not on the internet judging people’. I read your post a first time… and had to read it again, just to make sure that my head wasn’t playing crazy tricks on me, and that a blogger who is followed by thousands of people just slapped ALL of her readers in the face.

Zarah, after I had taken in all that you had said, I felt so sad. For you. You say that you are not here to judge anyone, and that everyone is judging you… but honey… you just threw an entire community under the bus.

Community is a crazy thing. Kinda like a love hate relationship, where we always striving to latch on to the love, and down play the hate. Not vice versa. People reach out to you, because they CARE, for YOU. Let me just say that again. They CARE for YOU. Your neighbours bringing you burnt pancakes… they brought you something to share with you. Is it really that hard to eat a burnt pancake, and be grateful. Is this month not about fasting, so that you can be mindful of those who have NOTHING to eat?

Community is embracing those around you. It is Not judging everyone, but rather attempting to understand them. We most definitely do not live in a perfect community. The city we share is full of every kind of bad in the world. But it also has every kind of good.

You see the very things that you are bashing these Muslim people for… Christian people do too. Hindu people do it too. PEOPLE do it. Human beings all sin. No sin is greater than the other. If we bashed each other every time someone sinned, our world would be as bitter as your post.

Your post left me with the sour taste in my mouth. You have an issue with every aspect of your very own culture and religion. And over all you just seem lost. Lost with your identity. Lost with your faith. Lost with your lack of respect for other human beings. Lost with your selfishness. Lost with your superficial life. Lost with your imaginary celebrity status.

Delusional. Rude. Disrespectful. CONTRADICTORY. Four words that ring true to your post.

I mean, you are speaking about traditions and hypocrisy, and out of nowhere, you throw in ‘Oh and if you are reading this, never ever ask me on a date – I am 1, taken and 2 despite your fickle wooing attempts and acknowledgement of my 10 tinder dates for a social experiment, I don’t date clowns’.

WOW. Where did that come from? How do these topics correlate?? I have this sad feeling, that you are misinterpreting guys/men BEING NICE to you, as trying to get with you (using your neighbour scenario as my foundation for that assumption). Delusional

‘And my social feeds are filled with who’s wearing what for Eid’. Really?? You have a fashion blog. You post what you wear daily. Are us mere mortals not allowed to share in social media? What makes your daily #OOTD so much more valued than someone else’s? It doesn’t. As I’m sitting here writing this, I can’t help but get upset all over again. This kind of reminds me of mean girls. You are a mean girl, and your blog is your burn book. Is it then such a shocker that people don’t like you, judge you, and look at you like they saw Casper. Come on Zarah, we are not in high school. Rude

‘High -five to you for trying to either please mum and dad this month, cleanse, lose weight, do it because your friends are doing it or do it for the right reasons’. Again… WOW!!!!!! Disrespectful

Your disclaimer? Flat out CONTRADICTORY.

After all is said and done, the one I feel most sad for is your mother. You know how you just painted everyone with the same brush? People are going to do that to your family. And that is horrible. I think you completely misinterpreted your mothers message to you. She asked you to add to your disclaimer that you do not implicate her or your family.

Parents who are present in our lives, supportive and encouraging (as your mother is), are such beautiful gifts from God. If there was anything I would want to leave you with, it is Grace.

People saw it fit to be gracious toward you, not because you deserve it. In fact, they have shown you Grace, despite what you deserve. Because who are we to decide what the next person deserves. The thing about trying to walk the straight and narrow, is that we fail miserably daily. Don’t you think that you could Be the Change to each one of these ‘problems’ you have complained about? You have (had), so many readers, imagine how much change you could have brought through with an encouraging word, instead of a rant of this nature.

You are beautiful. Do not taint that with an ugly heart.

Show some Compassion.

Love a Little.

Be Kind.

Have Grace for Others.

Stop with the all the Shade Throwing.

And lastly, as much as you say that you have chosen your own path, and make your own decisions… Accept that other people too, are doing the very same thing.

“If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see.”
― Henry David Thoreau

With Love.

Ruth xx

The Earthling Challenge

First post for 2015 😁😁 yay!! Haha



The start of this blog was SO awesome. I had so many great responses, and the first two posts lead to so many amazing conversations #greatsuccess 😜💃😊 All of which made me think about a couple of things. 

 I had some crazy conversations about life and love, and just about everything  in between, with some people I don’t even know from a bar of soap 🙈 

Some people felt comfortable talking about certain things, which I kinda felt as though they didn’t even speak about to people closest to them. This made me think about my own life, and relationships I have. And, sadly, the same can be said for me 👀🙊



I would feel comfortable sharing all areas of my life with some, and the bare minimum with others. Why? People just cannot be trusted. 

Often we spend so much of our time investing in relationships that are not fruitful.



I know my generation is getting older now, and time is something we now value. So why waste it on people who would not spend a moment for you. 

Scrolling through my Facebook and Instagram feeds… And it’s just flooded with fake friendships. 

Yall been friends for a whole week, but your caption says ‘Day 1 Nigga’….. Whatttttttttt? 😳 😒 🙏 *says a prayer for your soul*



You and your bestie had a fall out, and the entire situation is pasted all over Facebook, and Yall are disrespecting each other 😒✋ take a seat 👉 \_



Your friend broke up with her boyfriend, and look at that… He’s now your boyfriend. Ek Kannie dealie 😒🙈 👊 (that’s a punch. Not a pound)



 What are we missing? Could it be that it’s not necessarily a problem with everyone else, but that we ourselves have a problem?

 I hear so many people talking about needing to find new friends, or bad mouthing and complaining about the old ones. I’m pretty certain that you have made new friends, and those friendships have the same atmosphere as your old ones. 

If change is what you need, perhaps a different approach is needed. Forget the ‘post your very first profile picture challenge’… Here’s one that I think we can all benefit from. 



Let’s challenge each other to be better human beings. 

Let’s challenge each other to make a difference. 

To do something for someone other than ourselves. 

To do things for people, that would not mean a gain for you, or for me.

 To care more. To trust more. To love without limits. 

To hold information in CONFIDENCE. 

To show more Grace.

 Yoh. For the past few weeks I have been stuck on this concept of grace. 

 

Grace is saying that even though you don’t deserve anything, you have been given everything. Grace is saying, with all that you have done, you don’t deserve happiness. BUT GRACE…. BUT GRACE, gives you eternal joy.

Once you realize how much you do not deserve all you have been given, THEN you will realize how blessed you are. Let us be people who show others grace. Who bless without hesitation. And really, truly, honestly are friends who can be counted on in the brightest and darkest days. 



Searching for someone who you can count on? Be a person who can be counted on. Let us build up relationships that generations to follow can literally follow!



Have a problem with someone? Call them. Phone them. Tell them how you feel. This is something I struggle with (yes me lol) . I can easily talk about something not gelling with me, with someone I don’t really have a bond with. But let someone I care about mess up (or even let me mess up)… I would avoid the situation like the plague. 

For me, change really came with understanding that nothing will change if I just say I’m going to make a change. I literally had to go about changing myself. Working slowly on those things that formed the negative and dark side of me (don’t front, we all have this 😶 😈✋)

The trick is to be okay with making mistakes. Just don’t give up when it happens. And do not. I repeattttttttttt. Do not, make as though it didn’t happen 🙈



There comes a time when you hit rock bottom. Where you’ve made countless mistakes, and you have no faith in yourself. Maybe you’ve never experienced that, and I’m the only one who has ever messed up 🙆 For me, I was able to get back up after failing miserably – entirely because I put all trust and faith back where it should have been all along. If it had not been for God, man…… There would be no post to read today. There would be no me alive today! #SavedByAmazingGrace

Anyhooooooooo, before I get in and start testifying up in this place haha 😁🙏 🙋…..

Challenge given. Challenge accepted? 

Let me know your thoughts, and more so, how you are challenged to be a better earthling 😜👽✊

Ruth ❤️ 

Mail me at: slicedapples.theblog@gmail.com

#BOOM

So after getting everyone all excited about the start of this blog….. I’ve decided for this blog post I’d like to share a thought with you.

I am 24 years old, and single. #BOOM 😄😜😎😏😈🙊💃🙏👊 hahaha

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My parents have this crazy love story, I’ll give you a brief over view. Mom and dad met at a mutual friends church. Within 65 DAYS of that day, wait for it…… They were married! ( Remember this was during Apartheid – and they are from different ethnicities )

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On their first date, dad asked mom to marry him. Crazy right! Many would say a marriage like that won’t last. I am a product of this and can be witness to the fact that, it is one the best examples I can find, of a grounded marriage.

I was chatting to a few friends at work, and they asked me about what my likes and dislikes are. Asking all of these questions, in the hopes of figuring out what my ‘type’ is. That conversation ended in them saying that I am way too picky! Haha

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Let me get to the point.

My parents got married at 24 and 25. I am there, and not even a prospect of marriage in sight.

What scared me most, was that many my age tend to settle and grab the first ‘compatible’ person they find. I cringe at the thoughts of being that person 😭🙈 Can I share my thought on this with you?

My journey thus far has allowed me to get to know myself. I enjoy my own company. I am not scared of being alone ( just got a flash of the forever alone meme hahaha ), but no, that does not scare me. I have this belief, which I would like you to take into context when reading:

I am a great person, and history has proven that I could be ‘compatible’ with almost any type of person. And so because I do not wish to settle, the person I decide to marry, needs to really be God ordained. It needs to be an extraordinary, mind blowing, you leave me speechless, crazy love. Basically an Indian movie romance Hahaha ( secretly in love with Shahrukh Khan 😍😭😩🙏😂 ).

I cannot be with someone just because they want to be with me.

I have found on my journey that is it far more challenging to remain single, than it is to be in a relationship.

We are all human, and love is a drug that we all crave. But to resist this drug, takes great courage and strength.

I have found that I would much rather be alone, than be with someone who my heart is not sold out for. We can love many, and care about many, and be compatible with countless… But if the time is not right, and the person is not the right one either, the cracks will soon appear.

Being with someone that you know you wouldn’t marry, or commit to, doesn’t just damage you. It damages them too.

I have no idea how to tell if someone is ‘the one’. But I know The Man upstairs will show me 😊

You don’t need to know what your type is. Just make sure you are clear with yourself on what is not your type. And do not compromise that.

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I really dislike the saying, ‘waiting for the one’. When I hear it, I picture an old woman sitting in front of the tv, knitting her hundredth scarf, waiting 😂😂😂 née man!

Yes, I get the context and fully agree. However, I’d like to believe that I am living, and not just sitting around waiting. You need to have a life outside of a relationship. And you need to have Your Own identity.

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Don’t be that person that becomes who ever they are dating. Don’t be that person who has no friends, and cannot have a conversation that does not consist of relationship related content.

In short – get a life.

Be content in your singleness.

Be a good friend.

Have a compassionate heart.

Do not settle.

Remember that YOU are amazing.

You deserve someone equally amazing.

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Do not allow the opinions of others to filter into the way you make decisions. You and only you will have to live with the outcome.

Do everything you always wanted to, NOW.

Family should always come first.

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❤️ Ruth

New Starts

So the first post is finally here! I figured that everyone is most probably wondering what this blog is all about, and who I am….. So journey with me as I share with you 😊

My name is Ruth Joy Chetty, a 24 year old young woman, who is passionate about almost everything (early mornings not one of them).

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I am the daughter of two amazing people. My father is Lazarus Chetty, a Pastor in the Full Gospel Church of God, a Missionary, a Sound Engineer, Business man, and just all round hilarious Indian ou.

My mother is Joy Chetty, also a Pastor, National and International Director of Partners in Serving Nations, Board of Trustees member for Radio CCFM, and also I would say, my sane parent haha

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I have one brother, Jean-Paul Chetty. He just turned 23 years old, and is pretty inspiring. Jp gave a year of his life, after high school, to serve on a youth mission team. After which he went into the family business of Sound and Lighting. He then went out on his own and started a company called JPL Solutions. He currently lives in Johannesburg, and works full time as a Studio and Live Sound Engineer.

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Now you know the people I come from, let me share abit more about who I am 😊

I grew up being one of the guys. Playing cricket and soccer with my brother, fishing with my dad, and losing my mind in the forests when we went on our Saturday morning hikes. The girly stuff came into being in my senior year at high school (late bloomer, I know lol).

Sport drove me, and later music filled me. I love adventure, and usually do the craziest things on the spur of the moment. Carpe Diem, Seize the Day!

I ooze creativity. Whether it be in my music, my nail art, my mehndi, or my art, the creative soul is always present.

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I’m a foodie haha and you can expect to see many munchie posts 😛

I aim to highlight beautiful things that I stumble upon. Beautiful music and people, animals and nature, food and cities.

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I have so much more to share with you, so look forward to getting to know more about me and this beautiful city I live in, in posts to come.

With that been said, I hope you have enjoyed your first Slice 😁😊😏😜

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